CRAIG BROWN says Hugo must be International Secretary… he is been to St Barts


May perhaps 13, 2010

The call from Downing Road comes as we are selecting new curtains for the place household at this darling small store in the darkest reaches of Belgravia.

David C. asks Hugo if he would not brain getting Minister of Point out in Northern Ireland

‘Northern Ireland …’ replies Hugo. ‘Remind me. Is it the one particular with the male voice choirs and men with coal-dust all about their faces and humorous small torches on their hats?’ Hugo’s normally manufactured a issue of mastering the specifics in advance of taking on any career.

‘Almost but not fairly,’ replies David. ‘It’s the one particular the place there is been a bit of a hoo-ha with bombs and so forth, but it is all settled down now, so you must find it fairly relaxing. And you get a castle and your own butler.’

‘Count me in!’ says Hugo.

Hugo Swire with his wife Sasha

Hugo Swire with his wife Sasha

May perhaps 14

Hugo flies to Belfast. He wished to travel, but the Whitehall boffins instructed him there was sea to cross, and no bridge to speak of. Oh, nicely. You live and understand. His initially perception of Northern Ireland? Hillsborough Castle a bit poky.

May perhaps 15

All of us in the higher echelons of the Tory occasion are keen to roll up our sleeves and get to function. George Osborne’s wife Frances texts: ‘You should appear and keep at Dorneywood.’

I textual content back again: ‘And you should appear to Hillsborough, darling!’ We are like little ones in a sweet store. My only worry is that the others have grabbed the Bendicks Bittermints, leaving Hugo and me with the Penny Chews.

Former British Prime Minister David Cameron

Former British Primary Minister David Cameron

August 14

The Primary Minister and his family appear to keep. Right after dinner, we chat about Dave’s Major Culture.

I sit on the couch with him and request challenging thoughts. Just how massive will it be, I request, and how social?

Extremely massive, he says, and quite social.

‘You’re joking!’ I say. ‘You signify, just like Royal Ascot?’

He says he was thinking additional in conditions of the poor and the disadvantaged.

We all hoot with laughter and then go on to Charades.

August twenty

To Dorneywood, the place the Osbornes are now in profession. It is a enjoyable plenty of bolthole, if you like that sort of factor. Oddly plenty of, the ambiance is still steeped in the Prescotts, the lovely small Labour few who lived here in advance of, straight out of EastEnders, the BBC truth clearly show.

John Prescott’s wife plainly had a ton to do with the decoration of the bathroom, which is all vulgar pinks. Something tells me she forgot to renew her membership to Environment Of Interiors! There’s a china container by the bath, presumably for Mr P’s sausage rolls and ‘chip butties’!

George Osbourne, Former Chancellor of the Exchequer

George Osbourne, Former Chancellor of the Exchequer

August 21

George Osborne will cause me a small grief. Midway by means of a (bor-ring!) chat about supplementary added benefits, which I just take to signify our auto and driver, I endeavor to liven things up by indicating that the globe and his wife look to have been to Chequers but not me and how sore I am. Embarrassingly, 24 several hours later an invitation comes popping by means of the write-up from Samantha C. Now it seems to be as even though I was hinting!

September 23

To Chequers. Super to think that one particular day Hugo will have the run of this place. He’s in with a top opportunity of becoming PM just after Dave, just so long as he remembers to brush up on his periods tables, as everybody understands PMs are supposed to be excellent at sums. Failing that, he could conveniently be International Secretary, as we’re normally likely to St Barts and the Hamptons, and as soon as we even went to Mustique, so we know overseas improved than any one else.

'Hugo should be Foreign Secretary... he's been to St Barts'

‘Hugo must be International Secretary… he is been to St Barts’

September 24

I sit upcoming to Dave at dinner. He treats us all to his hilariously accurate impersonations of all the top globe leaders — ‘Ooh la la!’ (Sarkozy) and ‘Mamma Mia! Multo spaghetti!’ (Berlusconi). Awfully embarrassing if these facet-splitting jokes at the expenditure of globe leaders at any time obtained out! But my lips are sealed! I jot them down in my diary, just to remind myself hardly ever to make them community right up until publication!

September 25

Dave has to make a rapid Jag sprint to London to chair a assembly of the Nationwide Protection Council on the condition in Libya.

‘Don’t even Think of bombing Tripoli!’ I shout just after him. ‘We’re booked into La Mamounia upcoming spring!’

Or is that Morocco?’

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